Forgiveness: The Freedom We Don’t Earn but Must Give
Forgiveness is one of the hardest commands Jesus ever gave us.
From a human standpoint, unforgiveness often feels justified. We have logical reasons—X, Y, and Z for why someone doesn’t deserve grace. But when we step back and look at the gospel, that logic starts to fall apart.
Because if anyone had a reason not to forgive, it was Jesus.
The Kind of Love That Makes No Sense
Imagine this for a moment.
Jesus—fully God and fully man—left heaven, lived on this earth for 33 years, and willingly went to the cross. He was mocked, beaten, whipped, dehydrated, lied about, shamed, and crucified. And He did it knowing full well that:
- Some people would never believe in Him
- Some would reject Him entirely
- Some would continue to mock His name
- Some would deny His existence until their last breath
And yet… He still died.
Not just for believers.
Not just for Christians.
But for atheists, Muslims, Buddhists—and everyone in between.
That is real love.
That is real forgiveness.
The Foundation of Forgiveness
The foundation for this conversation comes from Colossians 3:13:
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
There are two powerful truths in this verse.
1. Make Allowance for Each Other’s Faults
As humans—and even as believers—we often struggle to extend grace to others, even though we desperately want grace extended to us when we mess up.
Grace is undeserved favor.
The greatest example of grace is Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. None of us earned that. None of us deserved it. And yet, it was freely given.
So the question becomes:
Who are we to withhold grace from others when God gave so much grace to us?
Yes, forgiveness is hard—especially when someone deeply hurt you. I understand that. But as believers, we are called to let go.
And for me, this lesson became deeply personal.
My Story: Forgiving My Father
For nearly nine years, I held resentment toward my dad.
When I was 15—right before starting high school—he abandoned me. I needed him during a critical moment in my life, and instead, he left. I spent years asking myself painful questions:
- Was it my fault?
- Did I do something wrong?
- Why wasn’t I enough?
I stayed in church. I served. I prayed. But I was lukewarm, and unforgiveness lived quietly in my heart.
God would tell me, “You need to forgive your dad.”
I would say I forgave him—but every time I saw him or heard his name, the anger came rushing back.
That’s when I realized: saying “I forgive” isn’t the same as truly forgiving.
Obedience That Set Me Free
In 2019, my dad became seriously ill with kidney disease. Over time, I became responsible for taking him to hospital visits, specialists, and treatments. I helped him—but I was still resentful.
Then one day, God convicted me deeply:
I needed to apologize to him.
From a human perspective, that made no sense. He hurt me. But Scripture doesn’t tell us to forgive only when it feels fair.
So I did it.
I apologized to my dad for holding resentment against him all those years.
His response?
“Okay.”
That was it.
It crushed me—but it also freed me.
Because forgiveness isn’t about getting the response you want.
It’s about obedience and release.
Forgiveness Before It’s Too Late
Not long after, my dad suffered a heart attack and a stroke. His condition worsened rapidly. Eventually, doctors told us there was nothing more they could do.
When he passed, I thanked God that I forgave him while he was still alive.
Because regret is heavy.
Unforgiveness is heavy.
And bitterness is a prison you don’t want to live in.
Forgiveness Is Not Optional
The second part of Colossians 3:13 says:
“Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
That word must matters.
Forgiveness is not a suggestion.
It’s a command.
Jesus forgave us knowing we would still fall short. Knowing some would reject Him. Knowing some would mock Him forever.
And yet—He forgave anyway.
Instantly.
That’s the standard we are called to.
Forgiveness Is for You
Holding unforgiveness only hurts you.
While you’re replaying old wounds, the other person may be living their life unaware—or unchanged. Forgiveness releases them from the prison in your heart and frees you from bitterness.
And if you can’t talk to them face-to-face?
Release them anyway.
Because freedom is worth it.
Final Encouragement
If you’re struggling with unforgiveness today, let this be your sign: today is the day to let it go.
Jesus forgave you.
Jesus forgave me.
And the same grace He gave us is the grace we’re called to give others.
That’s not easy—but it is simple.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Until next time—much love. ❤️